On Death

I have a strange relationship with death. My first experience of death was when I was 6 years old. My family and I were living in Kota Bharu at that time. I remember watching television and someone called. My mother picked up the phone, spoke a few words, hung up and then started crying. I didn’t understand what was going on. I learnt later that my grandmother had passed away in Makkah whilst performing her Hajj. I didn’t understand and couldn’t comprehend the pain my mother felt. I just knew I wished it stopped.

Fast Forward a few years later. My grandfather (my father’s father) in Ipoh had passed away. I remember going back to Ipoh. Many sad people were there. I’ve never seen so many people in the house in Kg Manjoi. It was the first time I saw a body wrapped in the cotton cloth. I still didn’t understand the finality of it. I kissed my grandfather on the forehead being very careful not to allow any tears to fall on the body. It was easy. Though I felt sadness I wasn’t crying.

A few years later, I was back on holiday from school in the UK. My parents picked me up at the airport and took me home. When we reached home, I unpacked and had a shower. Once I got settled in, I went downstairs to watch telly. My parents were there. My mother looked at me and told me that my grandfather (her father) had passed away a few days ago. I asked her why she didn’t tell me when it happened. I can’t remember what she said. I just remember being angry. Just full of disbelief because I had seen my grandfather only a few months ago. So far, this grandfather, Tok Rashid, was the one that I was closest to.

More people passed away. Uncles, aunties, Grand uncles and grand aunties.

My father passed away in 2002 after a long fight with diabetes and kidney failure.

My mother passed away in 2006 after a long fight with post operative complications from removing tumour in her brain.

I have come to hate hospitals with a vengeance.

TS Muhyiddin Yassin

On TS Muhyiddin Yassin.

I admit I have some disagreements (sometimes violent ones) with his policies and projects during his time as Minister Of Education.

But you can disagree on things and still respect a person.

I think he is not given enough credit for the transformation of Malaysian politics. Not taking anything away from Tun M, but TS Muhyiddin Yassin’s abrupt dissent with PM6 and subsequent falling falling out must be a knowledge as the catalyst for the transformation.

We must all remember him for that.

May Allah heal his illness and grant him sabr.


Article 1 of the International Convention On The Elimination of All Racial Discrimination ICERD states,

‘ …any distinction, exclusion, restriction or preference based on race, colour, descent, or national or ethnic origin which has the purpose or effect of nullifying or impairing the recognition, enjoyment or exercise, on an equal footing, of human rights and fundamental freedoms in the political, economic, social, cultural or any other field of public life’.

I don’t understand why those who proclaim to be the advocate and of Islam would object to this.

One of the things that made Islam beautiful during the time of The Messenger SAW was that it brought equality and gave a voice to the oppressed, it brought witflh it the protection of women and raised their standing in society, it outlawed the killing of baby girls which were so prevalent, it brought a system of social justice and equality that is now sadly absent.

Subhanallah. Nastaghfirullah.

Be Unreasonable

When was the last time someone demanded more of you than you ask from yourself? Of course it’s going to be painful sometimes. Of course you’re going to be afraid. Of course you wouldn’t want to do it.

I find it amazing how so many people in my life complain about my unreasonable expectations of their results.

If I have to be unreasonable in my expectations in order to push people around me to excel to the greatness that I see in them, then having people be uncomfortable around me and maybe even bitch and moan about me is a small price to pay.

Yes But Actually No

One of my biggest realisations that I’m still coming to terms with is the fact that sometimes we do things for other people because its a way to ‘buy’ their approval. It explains why we say yes but what we really want to do is say no (and vice versa).

If you feel the same way or have the same realisation, you don’t need anyone’s approval. Be who you are and those who don’t ‘approve’ then seek company elsewhere not because they are wrong and you are right, but because it just wasn’t meant to be.

But ultimately, the greatest battle for us is self approval. Once we get that, then life truly begins to change.

Added: Of course, final approval comes from Allah Azza Wa Jalla and that’s all that matters.

Does that make sense?